


But Mostly It's Like This

by Tuxedo_Elf



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Green Lantern (Comics), Green Lantern - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 19:16:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5427539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tuxedo_Elf/pseuds/Tuxedo_Elf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts when Elpis falls, the cycle of feelings and emotions that only have one conclusion. Kyle Rayner/Saint Walker.<br/>(Set during New Guardians/Godhead.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	But Mostly It's Like This

But Mostly It's Like This

 

Pain. Pain was the white-hot blast hitting your chest, feeling the ring's protective shield give out under the assault. Pain was falling, knowing there was no one there to catch you, that it was happening too fast, that you were falling with your planet, your home, your family. Pain was hearing that voice screaming your name, a desperate denial of the truth. But mostly, pain was knowing that you'd reached the end and that, even though some things might be returned to you soon, you had never spoken your heart, had never said how you feel and now it was too late. 

*************.

Regret. Regret was looking at the monstrosity in front of you, the great wall that had sucked so many lives dry and knowing, _knowing_ that it had to have yours too, if the rest of the universe were going to survive. Regret was all the things you had never done, would never do, but knowing you'd give it up anyway, because their lives mattered too much and after all, you were only one man. But mostly, regret was knowing you were going to die while the person you loved most – if only you'd told them - lay in a coma and there was no chance to say goodbye. 

*************.

Grief. Grief was waking with a healed body, only to be told that your world was gone, that the family you'd built had died to save you. Grief was being told that everything you'd spent years working for, believing in, was the worst thing you could have done, that even as you'd given, you'd maybe taken more than you could ever repay. But mostly, grief was knowing that the scream that still rang in your ears was the last time you were ever going to hear his voice, that he was gone, slipped away while you slept and there was no hope left. 

*************.

Guilt. Guilt was learning how wrong you'd been when you kept your survival from those you held dearest. Guilt was knowing how much you'd hurt them, how they'd mourned you and missed you for so long. Guilt was knowing his actions had caused the brightest of lights to dim, robbing the universe of the hope it so desperately needed. Guilt was being told it wasn't your fault, that it was the truth of the rings power that had caused hope to fade. But mostly, guilt was hearing that, understanding what they said - and not believing a word of it.

*************.

Joy. Joy was receiving a miracle, of learning that against all odds, what you'd been told wasn't true, that he was alive. Joy was knowing that somehow you were going to see him again, that you might have to walk through fire to get there, but that it was possible now. Joy was feeling the first spark of hope in your heart again, flaring to life after being dormant for so long. But mostly, joy was knowing that there was a chance to set things right, to say all the things that should never have been left unsaid. 

*************.

Heartache. Heartache was the light in his eyes when you appear, seeing the lingering pain behind the joy that would not easily fade. Heartache was speaking his name for the first time in so long, wondering when it had started to sound so strange to your own ears. Heartache was not being able to say what he wanted right then and there, to speak the truth he'd hidden for so long. But mostly, heartache was the desperate way he held you, as though he didn't quite believe you were there and might leave him again if he dared to let go. 

*************.

Love. Love is his head on your shoulder and your arm around his waist. Love is having that truth exposed for all to see, without shame or doubt. Love is being together after so many long months apart. Love is life, and hope, and all the things that make them strong. Love is soft kisses and gentle touches, is long nights and short days. Love is knowing that the future is bright, that there is a path through every storm, if only you look in the right places. Love is his smile, his words, his heart. But mostly? Love is just _him_. 

END

**Author's Note:**

> This... is a very small ship I'm on here! If anyone knows of any other fics with this pairing, please send them my way!


End file.
